I Will Always Be Here

(This poem was written when I finally accepted that sometimes you just have to let go.)

I come before you to say goodbye.
I say goodbye not because I am leaving you,
I will always be here.
I am saying goodbye to all of those things that I cannot have;
I am saying goodbye to a dream that I have held.
What is a dream that exists in the past?
Shouldn't all dreams be of hopes and futures?
Why do I dream about yesterday?
At least in the unwritten future any dream can come true,
However, I dream of a time when the dream was true.
I dream of a time when I didn't have to shut out the world.
You were there and so was I.
I guess it is true that time conquers all things, even the hope of love.
Only through these lines do I have the courage to say these words,
"I loved you, I loved me, I loved us."
Did you know the extent of my feelings? How could you?
I spent most of my time snared by my own imagination.
The temple I built for you in my mind became my own prison.
I spent all of my time in solitary worship I failed to see you standing at the door.
How could I miss you there?
You were right in front of me and I was too wrapped up
In my dreaming to welcome you to my sanctuary.
For this I beg forgiveness?
In my reclusive selfishness I left the most important part of my illusion behind.
You meant so much to me and I could not bear the thought of losing you.
I fooled myself into believing that I didn't need you.
I fooled myself into thinking I could lose you if I never had you.
I now know that in my fool's wisdom that I was wrong.
It hurts more to suffer alone with my thoughts.
Had I but one day to share all of my inner secrets with the one that I kept them from
I would realize that, "It is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all."
For all of these things and thoughts I must finally say goodbye.
Goodbye to a love that I have created in my head and refused to share.
Goodbye to a love that might have been.
The sun is now setting but it is yet rising over a new land.
I begin to walk into the night with the promise of a new day ahead.